Too Old, Too Weird

Recently, someone asked me, “Aren’t you a little old to be doing this?”—referring to my decision to pursue art, internships, and artist residencies. Admittedly, I stammered before squeaking out a surprised “No.” I wasn’t prepared for the question, and it’s lingered in my mind ever since, replaying in a loop.

At first, I couldn't figure out why it rattled me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this question wasn’t just about me—it’s about what we’re taught to believe is possible after a certain age.

Here’s the thing: I’ve never believed there was an age limit on growing, experiencing, or learning something new. If anything, I think being alive is allowing ourselves to stretch, evolve, and try. The alternative is stagnation atrophy and a slow decay.

In our capitalist, heteronormative society, there’s a very specific blueprint for how a “successful” life should look. You meet a nice (opposite-sex) partner, settle down, raise a family, climb the career ladder, retire with a hefty savings, and happily live out your golden years. And to be clear—there’s nothing inherently wrong with that life. I know and love many people who live it beautifully. But it’s not the only way.

Before I made this leap, a friend told me, “What you’re doing is very queer.” I’ve thought about that a lot. It wasn’t just a comment on identity—it was a reflection of how my choices challenge the status quo. To many, I’m stepping outside the expected life arc. I’m not following the script. And the responses I get vary wildly.

Some people light up with admiration. There’s a starry look in their eyes as they talk about quitting their jobs, buying a van, or traveling the world. They see what I’m doing as brave…as a kind of freedom they secretly crave. To them, I’m not reckless…I’m liberated.

But others are more confused, even defensive. For them, this path is inconceivable. It goes against everything they’ve been conditioned to want. I’ve been told I should just say “I retired early” when people ask what I’m doing now—because that fits the mold better. That makes my life palatable, understandable, and acceptable. But I’m not here to be palatable or acceptable. Mostly, anyway. 

I am human after all and crave connection, acceptance, and support but strive to accept that not everyone will. The people I value, the people who value me, my community… they get it. 

With my community behind me, I’m here to live fully. To live queerly—not just in terms of identity, but in defiance of conformity. I’m here to honor the strange, the nonlinear, the beautifully unpredictable path that called to me.

So, to the question “Aren’t you a little old for this?”—my answer is now a confident, resounding No.

And to the quiet voice inside you that’s wondering if it’s too late, or too weird, or too risky to change?

It’s not. (I’m 99% sure of that)